The Free Sample Phenomenon
by Ragemanicfun
Summary: Dean and Sam are out of food, and have got almost no money. They only need a few things, but the only store in sight is Costco. Dean hates it there. When forced to go, some confusion happens. Destiel with hints of smut


Dean gripped the steering wheel. He nervously looked through the windows on the left and right of his 67' Impala, as he drove through some random small-town in mid United States. He looked over at Sam, dead asleep next to him. They were out of supplies. This had never really been something to worry about with Sam and Dean, they usually stopped by some crappy gas station by the hooker motels they stayed at to grab what they needed. And it's usually only simple, basic things: water bottles, frozen food, towels, necessities. Dean hadn't thought it a big deal until he's 10 miles without seeing any store to stop at, and almost no money. For one night, he and Sam could sleep in the car, but…for food—all he had was his little money, and they needed to use it for food and water to sustain them for a few days, not just one meal. And where was a store in sight? Dean was about to wake up Sam and annoy him with the matter, when a gruff voice from the back of the car interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Dean." The voice growled, and Dean almost crashed the car with the startled-frenzy he went into, abruptly jerking the steering wheel to the right.

"Dammit! Cas, what the hell?" Dean asked as he regained his control of the vehicle.

"I'm sorry Dean, I forget how easily frightened you are."

Dean rolled his eyes and pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek in annoyance.

"Where are you trying to get to, Dean? I can tell you wish you knew where you were going, and are pretending to know. So where is it that you wish you knew which direction to go in to get to?"

"Cas, you're confusing."

"How so?"

"Simplify your question."

"Where are you driving to, Dean?"

"I'm trying to find a store to get food at, and hopefully a motel."

"Hm…" Cas hummed, turning and intently looking out the window, he gazed past the trees and the street signs. He looked around obstacles for any sign of some store Dean might want to find. Finally something quite large caught his eye.

"Dean."

"Yeah?"

"Over there, behind the tree. The large, long building with a blue and yellow sign."

"What is—oh no." Dean caught himself mid-sentence. "There is no way in hell."

"Why?" Castiel questioned. "I thought you needed a store. Is that not one?"

"It is, but—" Dean looked back at Cas quickly and them forward again, "if it weren't for the free-samples there, that place would literally be the embodiment of Satan."

"Isn't that Nick?"

"Not the point, Cas."

"It doesn't look that bad."

"You haven't been in it. You don't get this kind of typical human stuff."

Castiel gave Dean an annoyed glance and then looked back at the large sign that hung at the front of the building. "I may not know much of humans or their typical 'store things' but I do know that if so many people look unharmed and happy going in and out it cannot be that terrible. Don't you need food?"

"I do, but we can find it somewhere else. And, _I _hate it here, so it doesn't matter if their happy or not. We're not going into Costco, and that's it."

"But—"

"No."

A ruffling sound came from the right side of the front of them impala. There were a few muffled noises and then a clear 'w-what's going on?' from Sam as he regained consciousness.

"Nothing. You can go back to sleep, we're just driving."

"I was proposing we go to Costco." Castiel stated, with a gleaming sense of pride in his voice. Dean scoffed at the angel, and continued to drive as if he hadn't said a thing.

"Costco?" Sam questioned with a smirk.

"No. It's just that—" Dean began to search for a way to explain the situation that wouldn't ultimately lead to Sam saying they should go. Aside from what most people think, Sam being Dean's brother doesn't keep him from siding with Castiel in most arguments. If Cas were to explain this situation, undoubtedly Sam would side with him and force Dean into Costco. "We need some food, that's all." Dean said flatly "and I don't think we need to go into the big family store to get some burgers."

"How much money do we have?" Sam asked. _Shit_.

"Uh—we—uh," Dean stuttered "—have enough."

"Really?"

"Yeah. About—um…enough."

"Let me see," Sam grabbed Dean's wallet out of his hand despite Dean's tight grip on it. The younger brother quickly opened up the wallet and his face dropped into a flat '_are you fucking kidding me_' expression. Dean's eyes darted away from Sam and to the floor and ceiling of the car, while Castiel grinned in the back seat.

"Pull over."

Crowds of people pushing through the three, loud noises, babies crying, the smell of fast food filled the gigantic building. Yep. Dean knew what it was like. He'd been there. This was hell.

"The height of the volume in this large structure makes me uncomfortable." Cas admitted, walking behind the brothers.

"Hey, you wanted to come here." Dean replied.

"We're only going to be here for a little," Sam proclaimed "so don't get so depressed about it—Dean."

"What?"

"And what specific items do we acquire?" Castiel asked Sam, making a metal list.

"Well, just food, mostly. If you can find little, useful cheap things like towels and stuff or a first-aid, that'd be great." Sam said.

"Okay let's get this over with." Dean cringed looking around at the bust store.

"I'm going to go and look for some shirts since Dean completely _ruined _his—" Sam said, throwing a glare at Dean "I'll be back in a little.".

"So, Dean." Castiel stepped a bit closer to Dean, and restated the things he believed they should look for "Packaged food, I believe, is what we should mainly look for. The same goes for drinks, nicely bottled, and nothing that goes bad quickly like milk."

"Okay, but how about we get free samples?" Dean asked

"Free samples?"

"Y'know, the little stands where people give away a little bit of a food product so you can try it and then buy it." Dean explained, "but of course people don't really end up buying it."

Castiel cocked his head. "I don't understand. People do in fact want to sell their products, yes?"

"Yeah, but—"

"So why give small amounts of it away for free, eventually ridding you of it all, if in the end no one buys it."

"I don't know, Cas." Dean swatted the air, huffing "I'm not into business and all that stuff."

"Then how do you know about the '_free sample_' phenomenon?"

"Cas, it's not a phenomenon. Everybody knows what a free sample is, it's common sense."

"Oh."

"Well, c'mon, let's go get some packaged food." Dean grumbled.

The heel of Castiel's loafers clicked on the concrete floor of the large store, as he and the Winchester looked for packaged food that would last them long. Dean looked frankly uninterested on all the different kinds of frozen food that Cas found astonishing. Dean glanced over a 24 pack of something labeled: _hot pockets_, and picked it out. Cas threw Dean a confused look, leading Dean to narrow his eyebrows and look down at the box in his hand.

"What?"

"What are those?"

"Hot Pockets."

"Aren't those the food that Sam calls disgusting and incredibly unhealthy?"

"Yeah well Sam doesn't know anything." Dean retorted, handing the box to Castiel so he could look for more food. Cas flipped the box over, and his face twisted as he read the components of the food.

"Dean,"

"Yeah?"

"He was not lying." Cas said, opening the freezer to put the box back. "I think we should look for something _healthier _to eat."

"Cas," Dean sighed "Don't tell me you're turning into a Sam."

"I'm not saying we should purchase something incredibly healthy, just not something incredibly unhealthy."

"Whatever."

After a little while of disputing, Castiel reluctantly allowed Dean to get a package of microwavable popcorn-chicken, and some Eggo waffles. Dean pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, and pressed a couple of buttons before throwing his head back a groaning.

"What is it?"

"Sam is being a lil bitch, and said he won't be done with his girly shopping for a bit."

"Well," Cas thought of alternatives for them to shop for so Dean wouldn't feel so agitated with his brother. "We could go look for those first-aid items Sam suggested?"

"Okay, fine" Dean grunted "but the first-aid things we use probably aren't what you have in mind. We need things like needles, alcohol (some we don't drink), and tweezers."

"Okay" Cas responded.

Neither of them knew where the hell any of that was. They acted like they knew, or that they could eventually find it. An unspoken pact that both of them knew they had no fucking idea where the stuff was, but that they would keep walking cause they'd eventually find it. Cas turned as aisle, and Dean followed, they both chose a side and they scanned it as they walked. Cas's eyes lit up when he thought he'd spotted something. Dean had talked of very small square, plastic bags that contained cloths soaked in alcohol in them that would clean wounds. He had stated it'd be nice if they found some, and Cas thought he just had.

"Dean"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't these something _we _acquire?" Castiel asked, as he held up a box of condoms.

"I—" Dean was expecting to glance at a bottle of hand sanitizer and explain to Cas how they really didn't need that, but when Dean turned to Cas, it wasn't that at all.

Cas's face was blunt, like the question wasn't at all something uncomfortable. He was locking eyes with Dean, his expression stern and bold. And Dean would never admit this, but _God_, it was hot.

"We—we—I—ah—" Dean stuttered, and Cas almost looked thrown off by Dean's nervousness. _What the fuck, Cas? Why would you think I'd be so calm? _Questions ran through Dean's mind, like they were bumping off the walls inside his head. Dean's cheeks flushed, and he tightened his hands into fists. Cas almost raised his eyebrows in an attempt to get Dean to answer his question.

"D-do you think we do?" Dean managed to push out. Castiel glanced down at the box, scoped Dean's body, and then said "I really think we do."

Dean almost fell over. He was both embarrassed, and turned on at the same time and he couldn't decide between the two. He couldn't think of anything, out of the hundreds of things running through his mind to say, except "okay."

It seemed like Cas's eyes looked hungry, and longing as he tucked the 12-pack of Durex in his coat. Dean couldn't even move, he just looked at Cas, who didn't even seem to notice, and—_holy fuck—_he bit his lip. Or, maybe that was Dean's imagination.

Dean's guilty fantasies of how he and Cas were going to use those condoms were interrupted by a call of "Dean, Cas!" from down the aisle.

"You get some food?" Sam asked, a stack of flannel shirts thrown over his arm.

"Yeah." Dean responded, and the three walked their way to the cashier. While the cashier scanned what seemed to be the millionth shirt Sam had gotten, Dean wondered why Cas hadn't shown Sam the box of condoms he'd gotten in hopes of gratification for the '_first aid_' necessities. He'd decided to just be happy that he didn't.

It had taken about ten minutes of driving aimlessly around after the three had assumed their positions in the car and left Costco to find a motel. It had to be cheap and sketchy. Dean and Sam weren't settling for anything more. They had standards. Finally, they found the: _Quick Stay inn_, perfect for their needs. Dean gave Cas some money to go get room keys, since Sam was half asleep, and he didn't feel like talking to either some pubescent high-schooler, or a middle-aged douche.

Dean drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and asked himself; _what the fuck was I thinking? _Cas hadn't known that those were condoms, he'd thought they were components of a first-aid. Not only had Dean gotten irrationally turned on and made the stupidest decision, he'd doomed whoever gets a cut near Cas anytime soon. And allowing Cas to buy them and actually thinking that something might happen is probably the most fucking humiliating thing he ever done to himself.

"Dean," a raspy voice called from the side, causing Dean to look out the window "got them" Cas jingled keys in the window.

Dean nudged Sam awaked and the three traveled to room 4B, where Sam was the first to quickly get into to room and flop down on the bed. Dean was about to do the exact same, when a hand gripped his arm holding him back. He turned to see Cas, a sly expression on his face; he pulled out a key labeled 8F. Dean looked slightly confused, as Cas closed to motel room in front of Dean and slid a small, cold, square package into Dean's palm. Dean's eyes widened, and then he looked up at Cas, a seductive look smeared across his face. Dean knew exactly what was happening. And all he could ask himself was;

_what the fuck was I thinking?_


End file.
